Ehm, the chinese whispers thing. Oh, now here is something complicated. Friend K said something about Friend F's boyfriend on Friday in English. It wasn't a very nice something. Well, two not very nice somethings. She doesn't even know the boy and she called him ugly and gay. 'Very Ugly' I might add. Yeah, okay, he acts the tweensiest bit gay, like, he used to wear eyeliner and he owns a GHD. And he says 'wuv u.' XD But he's really not that ugly and Friend K has never even seem him. So I didn't think this was fair, so I told him what she had been saying. He wasn't, like, angry, but he was pretty pissed off. The only reason I told him in the first place was because if people were saying shit behind my back, I would prefer to know. And he kind of had the right to know that someone was saying stuff? And theeen on Monday, everyone blew it all up, apparently Friend K had been kidding around (even though she said it damn seriously) and then Friend Z asked her what she thought of Friend F's boyfriend to find out if she was serious or not and Friend K replied an ugly, emo, skater guy who acts gay. I don't think he even skates to be honest? XD And now I'm in trouble for saying stuff I shouldn't have said even though I was just acting on instinct.
I seriously need to say out of other people's business. It's not even a habit, it's a lifestyle. It's the whole reason I needed to change in the first place, and even though I'm trying my hardest, it keeps rearing it's ugly head. My past is carrying itself into my future and it's not even controllable! I'm a monster, a vicious gossiping machine, who needs to be stopped before everyone in my path gets hurt. I need to learn to shut my damn pie-hole at the worst of occasions. I'm even fed up of myself. It's sad when you realize that your greatest foe is yourself, when you realize who you are for once but can't seem to get a grip. It's life, and it's a bitch. I remember reading a quote once:
"Life's a bitch, then you die"
Ahh. I'll get over it all soon. For the time being, I'll distract myself through the internet or sketching or maybe just ducks. I quite like ducks. They're all fluffy and they have wings but they can't fly. They remind me of myself, bar the fluffy part. I've got all the things I need to change, but I just can't do it.
Also, remember that Amanda woman in a post below? That was actually Keeva. I devised the nickname so her sister wouldn't know that Keeva and Scott actually broke up again after going back out. :S And her sis knew nothing about Dave either. But none of it matters now, because Keeva and Dave broke up. More like Keeva broke up with Dave. Poor Davey. ):
Keeva must sound really mean, but she's actually not. She just shocks people XD. I mean she's like, smart. She never does too much wrong, to be honest. And she knows when to break things off. Neither Keeva nor Dave thought it was working out, but Dave wanted to work through it, apparently. Keeva didn't want to. I admire her, a lot, to be honest. And if she's reading this, I give you props, my grasshopper. She is what women should aim to be. Independant, strong, brave etc. And no, I do not have a lesbian crush on her, I simply admire her XD.
Well.
I was home sick today because of my sore back.
:S
Owweee.
I blame the damn physio and that new exercise ball of mine.
Talk ta' ya's laterrrr....
Lucy
xoxo
Lucy's Soundtrack:
- Everysee- Paper Tank
- Emergency- Paramore
- I Don't Love You- My Chemical Romance
- Time Is Running Out- Muse
- American Idiot- Green Day
