Starbucks.

Here. A backing track for my unimportant whining >



It's still snowing. And it's annoying me a lot. I want all this horrible stuff to go away. What's the beauty in something that gives people pneumonia and causes road accidents? I was mesmerized at first, but jesus, it's just so frustrating now. Every time I stare out the window into the white abyss lying beyond, I just imagine a tall, thin, boney mistress; Twirling Earth in her hands, striking it with tough spindles of glass. Devouring us with porcelain teeth. Then, finally, she'll spit us back up for the honeymoon period of Spring, and then gradually fading out into the long, lazy days of Summer. The long lazy days of Summer filled with tears and broken hearts and new friends and cigarette smoke. And then back she comes again, swallowing us again, like some stretched out regurgitation period. My feelings are constantly changing about Winter. I'm not sure whether to run to her, arms wide open or to turn my back and ignore her, until she leaves. She's a faux ami. Perhaps I need one of those lightbox things. I've been crying way more than usual lately, and believe me, I cry a lot anyway. I need to grow up. Big girls don't cry, d'you know that?

Watched Glee. I'm totally in love with it. Honestly. I just want more, more, more. It's so sweet and I've only seen two episodes. Okay, this sounds weird, but when Finn jizzed in his pants when him and Rachel kissed, I was totally envious. Like, wow. I want someone who kisses. In my whole life, I've never once been properly kissed. It was always 'meeting'. I want someone to just kiss me; instead of playing fucking tonsil tennis. I'm such a brat, right? It's what your thinking about me. Naive little brat and when she finally finds teen romance, if she ever does or if it's even real, she'll throw it away. Of course I will. I'm a blooming idiot. But that's not my point. Back to my point. Well, if I ever found a person who makes me laugh, isn't embarrassed to be around me, and kisses like they mean it, I'd be all over them like cum on your mom. When I was a kid, I always imagined my first kiss so perfectly. Me and him, alone. Talking on a park bench or a wall. And then the conversation ends, and we just look at eachother. And then he runs his fingers along my jaw and kisses me, just a brush of our lips at first, but then leading on to real kissing. Like in Cinderella. *sigh* Stupid realism.

And Nicky is a soulless bastard who doesn't get my point. Am I crazy, seriously? I'm 14, I get it. But everyone else is around the same age and they've had some form of romance? Maybe I am just crazy and stupid. Well, farewell, off I go to listen to Death Cab For Cutie and talk to myself.

LUCY
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