Your lips touch every hand...

(click to enlarge, taken two days ago)


Snow and ice. It's everywhere. Today, in the cold, with the ethereal, gleaming cloak cracking beneath my feet, I thought about life and death. That tiny miniscule difference between them. One second and you're gone, words still in your mouth; your blood still warm. Snap of fingers. It's like Steve Irwin. Paramedics said that if he had left that stingray in his heart for one more second, he might have lived. I don't know if it's true (newspapers these days), but if it is, it's terrifying and brutal. Literally a moment in time can change everything. And then his brave daughter stepped in front of a crowd, told everyone of the strong man her father was. Wow. Being entirely honest, if my dad died and I was asked to speak in front of millions of people: I'd freeze. And cry and go home and crawl up with a blanket and just cry some more. I don't know what I'd do without my parents, even if they do hate me as much as they claim to. Even the thought is tear inducing. I feel so bad for orphans who never get that feeling of pure, untouched love that only a father or mother can bring. Imagine not having anyone to tuck you into bed at night when you're young, or someone to say you can do better after a break-up when you're not quite as young, or someone to chat about life when you're older. It's just constant winter for orphans. The cold front closing in 365.

On the bright side, I went out for dinner today. Miss Wong's fine chinese dining, can I getta what what? I finally had a reason to wear my sequinned gold dress. I wore it with: Black leggings, teal patent heels, and my purple cardigan. Straightened my hair, bud. I think I looked nice but the pictures I took state otherwise. Fat mess. Ahh. I need to start an exercise regime. If I weren't so bloody lazy. Laziness is like a disease. It grows and grows along with my tummy. Oh yes, and people called me a tramp today because I wear a skirt and the only pair of boots I have. A pair of tights, leggings over them, a gold (relatively short) tulip skirt, pointy-toed rubber platform boots and a hoodie and my coat. I used to think I didn't care and that I should take what I dish out, but today it really got to me. I always thought a tramp was someone who tried hard for others, but the only reason that I dress the way I do is because it makes me feel good about myself. In jeans, I look in the mirror and start bawling but in a skirt, I look nicer and my legs look longer. I don't know. I guess it's a self esteem thing. And my jeans were kinda dirty. Comment question: Am I a tramp? Be honest, crush my spirit. :P

Flyleaf, Lady Gaga and Michael Bublé albums are really good. AKA Memento Mori, The Fame Monster and Crazy Love. All the songs are stuck in my head. It's like total foot-tap mania. I highly recommend, song wise, the epic choonage of Alejandro - Lady Gaga, Chasm - Flyleaf, and Crazy Love - Micky Bubbles. It brightened my week, somehow. All the music. Ahh. Happy fun times.

I shall go, as I have nothing else to say.

LUCY
XX
Comment?
ILY

High off hand sanitizer...

Gaga Ooh La La




Right.
I am a crazy psycho who is squashing two people in to one skin. Yikess.
Well, Jade is my new outlet. I'm trying hard to stop bitching. Unsuccessfully.
So Jade's there to let out all this hatred and shit.



I haven't properly blogged in quite a while so I'll aim for it today. Junior Cert. Arggghhh. They hype it up so much that it actually scares me now. I feel like I need to study. I got 68% in Maths. Which is great for me. I was like YAYY because I passed and got honour. Happy days. I'm so hungry lately too. For a while I thought, OMFG pregnant but then smart brain type think kicked in 'Lucy, you aren't getting any, and you won't be for a longggg time, kthxbai.' So I'm just a fat cow. Seriously, my thighs are like sacks filled with custard. I walk and they slap against each other and echo. Need to exercise. I might go back to working out in my room before bed. That's what always kept me fit. It sounds horrible, but I wish I went back to post-operation-underweight. Most definitely, you're all there cringing in your seats, feeling embarrassed for my lack of depth or tutting at me in horror and superiority. But I find thin beautiful. I used to lie and say some people were too thin, but there's no such thing. And guys fall for those over-thin girls.



Speaking of guys, I repel them utterly. It's a curse. Hitler had a wife, yet I don't have a boyfriend. Helllooooo.. earth to dating community? I'm right here. There must be some semi-neurotic hater out there suited for me, in a flannel shirt and skinny jeans with natural hair? Or just a fellow reader, in jeans and a t-shirt who listens to David Bowie religiously. Or maybe a happy, smiley ear-pierced skanger, because opposites attract? Grr. I give up. Y'all are like 'You're fourteen, you've got a life ahead of you to find love...' but I want it now. I want someone to cuddleee and be warm with and hear his heart beating through his shirt and melt melt orgasm noise. Pride and Prejudice has put my expectations and hopes at a brand new level. I want a Mr. Darcy... mysterious, repelling, charming in a bad-mannered way. Rich too. Or a Mr. Wickham... outrageously handsome with a way of twisting people. Mmmm. Jane Austen has both impeccable taste and an amazing imagination.



Cillian, I would like to apologize for any judgments I made on this blog of you, but there's so much gossip about everything and I was angry and omfg unnecessary drama everywhere. Everyone's fighting. End of 2k9, loike, on a bad note. Drama, drama everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Hang on.. That's not it. W Factor Junior Heats on soon. To all of you cultured foreigners, W Factor is our school talent show. Great name, huh? But I think I'mma go. Because if it's not good, it's going to be hilarious. And if it is good, then it's worth our money. The seniors are usually better, but I can go to the finals to see them. Starting to like Gaga's new hit. Will embed.

Lucy
xx
Comment again, laydeez.
And actuaalllyyy, Neko, I was (Y) for you. :B