Just say there's nothing holdin' you back...

Dearies.

11.24am. Sick, so came home early from school. I reckon I should get some blood tests, check that all's well. But I hate blood tests, because of someone fiddling around under my skin. Picked back up an old habit. Bought my new look in Dundrum shopping centre yesterday. Red lipstick, kohl and Coco Chanel inspired items. It looks quite formal but I love it. Gotta love Penneys, eh? Premiering this new fashionable Lucy this weekend, provided I am not hung by ankles and skinned by parents tomorrow after Parent Teacher Meeting. I don't give a fuck anymore. I know, ignorant teenager much? But St. Wolstans is horrible. The teachers hate me, the pupils hate me. I feel like I'm sniggered at each time I turn my back. Doesn't help that cliques are established and I don't belong in them. I have Ash and Jem but they're quiet and tired in school, and I sense they find me annoying how I'm always 'happy' in school or something. I just love being around people. Most of my friends don't go St. Wolstans. Also, everyone is still kind of wary of me because of the whole 'liking girls' fiasco. Hellooo, all you little catholic girls do not make me wet. St. Wolstans is chock-full with little preppy, tracksuit-wearing barbies who all look the exact same. Hating on it.

I did so much shopping yesterday, it's unbelievable. I'mma google-image some of the things I bought and then use PhotoFiltre (awesome free program) to mash 'em into a pic for you. Fuck it, I could only find my cute panda beanie on the River Island website. It's so adorable though, well worth the €17.50.

Katy Perry wore it too, so not exactly totally original but omg I'm in love with it. I got two flannel shirts in Penneys, black and white and then one thats different shades of purple. I got a nerdy golf jumper from H&M kids, because I'm quite small. 2 new pairs of jeans from their too, one shredded stonewashed pair and another pale blue figure hugging pair. Grey nerd type top.. one of those vesty things. Polka dot skirt, pearls with a beige flower brooch, black and white patent pumps with a little gold chain. Plait bracelets. There's more but I can't think. Phwaah. I am actually so happy with my purchases. Happy days like.


Listening to Lovebug- Jonas Brothers because I'm fucking awesome weird. It's such an adorable song. I always wanna cry because no boy I know a) would ever feel that way & b) would especially ever feel that way for me. I keep reading romance novels and they set my expectations all high. I want love so much. Just to feel it. Why aren't there any handsome, dark, sensitive boys out there? Hello? I mean, it's not that much of a specification. I'll even settle for relatively okay, dark and sensitive, as long as they're not fat. Girls too, come to think of it. I fancy the arse off one boy and one girl and they both think of me as a friend so fuck it, eh? I feel so unattractive. Especially with beautiful friends like mine who always have boys after them. Epic fail. I put on clothes and make-up and aim for perfection and fall short. Putting net out on blog. Hereeee, sexy sexy sexy. Come love me, creatures. Please?? AHH. I'M CRAZY.

39 days 'til Christmas; Camera and festivity and depression. I don't want to be single for Christmas, I want escapades under the mistletoe. I'm not independent! I want someone warm to hug and hold and amigawd, fail, because people like me never ever find that, do we? No. People who've read this blog since before Summer know how crap my self-esteem is, especially back in the days of Candyshop Cocaine and Cynical And Whimsical. Then in Summer, I got male attention and female too, and I was like 'WOAH! I must not be too bad!' but then I got dumped 4 times, and now I'm totes unloved so fail. It totally destroyed happy confident Lucy. Complain, complain. RAWWH.

I'd better go.
Music Monday- Mushaboom by Feist.

LUCY
XX
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