Sticky tea dried down my legs, home-done french manicure chipped, sticky face cream slathered on to skin. It feels like two sharp knives are right in at my spine, at the base. Just jammed between the vertebrae, and laughing as I contort in this agony. It's not even the physical agony, and I don't know why any of this is agonizing. I'm self obsessed, in a bizarre way. Like I love myself, but because I hate myself. 01.17 am. Remnants of tonight's kohl streaming down my puffy cheeks. I want fresh air, sunny days, a camera in my hand, sunflowers surrounding me. Something surreal, being wrapped in webs and downy duvets of fairytale lies. I guess I'm just never happy. I only think of my self as a failure. The days that I feel beautiful are the days when I haven't insulted someone. It just doesn't click; When I achieve something, I just aim higher until I reach these unthinkable desires. Evil things, bitchy things. Things against the girl code. Things against morals. I really wish I could decipher who I am. It's like a code. I don't know what it is.
Gaa. What can I say; I never enjoy it. For a while I do, but then I slide or something.
I can't stand this. Two posts make me crazy. I'm just going to put in a picture I took in Cavan over the summer. It's blurred to the left, it's black and white, but I like the picture. It's the type of photography that literally plasters deviantart, but fuck it, bite me.
(click to enlarge, as always)LUCY
XX
Comment me.
Or facebook.
Or something.
I prefer winter to summer.
ReplyDeleteBut then, i insult people daily.
[xxx]
Been a while since I've seen the commend box xD
ReplyDeleteChu say the limit's the sky. Think black; The sky's your limit (Chris Rock fo sho). Reduces the chances to reach unthinkable desires yus?
Less with the camera breaking hoe, get the wuns in Tesco xD