Sounded like an alarm of impending doom...

Light and dark. The beauty of each, in solitary and contrast. The pure white that floods every corner, the one you only notice when you're alone and concentrating on sweet nothings and nuggets of drama. The luscious, melting darkness that devours cities, soaks footpaths and swallows you whole, but is only terrifying when one is, again, alone. I think it's the same with people. When you're alone, you see the twisting, convulsing black that sweeps through their veins or the flowing silver rivers that rush and turn in their brain. People aren't perfect, but lately, I've seen that everybody tends towards a different side. Like swaying towards darkness or light. Minds just work differently. Some people thrive on being cruel, feeling dirty, being harsh. Others do those things, but feel terrible. I'm not necessarily saying that any of it's bad, but these angelic, creamy people often get walked all over, and the dark, sick people get hurt by their own actions and are left empty. It's about comfort though. If you're happy in the present with what you are, so be it. It's you and there'll always be someone who agrees, even if they pretend they don't. Unleash your demon or delight.



Yesterday changed the Christmas. There was this one thing that shook me up a bit and it felt like I'd been kicked really hard in the stomach, and even now when I've woken up, the feeling's not gone. For a while, I honestly felt like dying. Like taking my own life. Perhaps I was just incredibly hormonal and fuelled by the 'one thing' but I took it as an option. It scared me, because I felt this exact way last Christmas, and the one before. This Christmas was supposed to be perfect. Even if I haven't achieved my inner goal of having a boyfriend, I brushed it aside. I was going to ignore everything that could make me upset. Too late now. This is going to be on my mind the whole holidays, I can feel it. Maybe it'll stop me from eating and my ass will stop expanding like a balloon at a helium convention. And then there was another misunderstanding which was quite funny to me, because me, Ash and Jem left these... interesting tags on some girl's facebook pictures thinking you couldn't see who wrote tags. Blonde moment, you can. And then the girl and her friend start calling us sad. It brightened my morning reading those comments, really, because she has done so many sad things and made me and close friends miserable loads of times.


(Tessa's new video to get you in festive spirit. Meekakitty <3)

I am probably being forced to mass tomorrow morning. Which is the suxxor. I shall stage a protest and just lie in bed after I've opened all of mes cadeaux. I don't believe in God or Jesus for the time being so why should I be forced into celebration of a sham? Stupidity. Grandparents coming today. Oh sweet joy. I love Granny Kate, she is just soo nice. But Granny Whatsherface is just a pain in the ass. Yes, yes, I'm horrible, she's my granny. But she's one of those people that you know and hate because they're stuck up and cruel and way too nosy and arrogant and pass remarkable. Just because you're related to someone doesn't mean you have to put up with all their shit. Grandad John is lovely though, he likes gardening and BBC. How he could marry such a witch, I don't know. I will just put all my attention on the nice grandparents. Ohmigoddd, this last paragraph made me sound like such a cow. I'm sorry to anyone I've offended etc. Not a good month for blogs, I must say. Not a good month for Lucy's self esteem. Touché, l'Esteem Self, touché. >.>

I shall go now.
Follow me on Twitter if you don't already:
Lucy/paintburst
COMMENTTTTT.
Lucy
xxx