Birds in my ear, and a devil on my shoulder...

I haven't blogged in way too long. Unbelievably even. I've even lost a follower. COME BACK! I have been so busy/stressed/paranoid lately though with tests and friends and town and reading and Super Mario Bros studying. Today though, the tests are over and no school till the 7th of January 2010. I can't believe it's almost a new year already. First Christmas, yeah, whatever. But then it's my new start. Big woo. This time last year I was either in surgery or totally unconscious in I.C.U (and I just wanna dance with you). It's a leap. I feel like there's still a part of me in that operation, even though it's been a full year. Anytime I think about it, I burst into tears uncontrollably and it takes me a cup of tea and 8 choccy biscuits to calm down. I guess I should be glad to put it behind me and go on living like it never happened, and pretend I can't see the hideous scar. Dramatic Sigh. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. I feel so festive singing along to Wham's 'Last Christmas' not Cascada's shitty cover and drinking hot chocolate and wearing... scarves and staring at twinkly lights and falling over wires because I was too busy staring at the twinkly lights.



I can't wait for my camera. AHHHHH. It's like the Christmas Eve excitement factor but I have it 2 days early. Nobody will stay in and watch Love Actually tomorrow. Will brave cold winds with proudly-worn Panda hat and warm jeans and coat and shit. Am listening to Nickasaur. Rocketships and Radios is total utter crap but it's always in my head. If a guy said those things about me, I swear I would squee for hours and give him my proverbial virginity. Still searching for Prince Charming. I should probably be more proactive and flirty etc but I cannot be arsed, tbqf. The bloody effort. I have lost my mojo. It's goneee. Come back mojo. I haven't gone out with someone since bloody September. I haven't even fancied anyone since then. Come along on thou's noble steed and I shall ride along with you/on you. Eugh, whore comment. Dear prostitute-brain, please cleanse yourself, signed Mr. Conscience. Anyone normal reading this blog would think I'm a crack addict. Listening to All American Rejects. Some of their songs are depressing. I might as well go hang myself. BTW, readers, that was a tasteless satirical joke on myself. Which made no sense.

Does everyone get jealous? Feel the burning at the back of their throat, the furrowing of their brow, the strong need to insult this 'other person' 24/7 or to shoot them down. Being blind to things you do that are similiar and insulting insulting insulting. I feel so evil when I'm jealous, and homocidal. Like if I had a rifle, I'd perform another Columbine Massacre. Stabby rip stab stab. Even as I write, I have this kind of ripping-tummy thing going on, like I'm nauseous and pregnant with knives or something. My mind's all twisted. I can hear the festive fumblings from downstairs. Someone pushing the tree, someone making coffee, someone placing presents. And I'm up here alone, bathing with the green monster. I'm jealous of EVERYONE lately. I fail, I fail and this blog was crapola bars. I may as well go.

LUCY
XX
COMMENT

http://moshime.com/justsayyes