Parawhores and paper dreams...

Close your eyes and make believe...
This is where you wanna be.....
Forgetting all the memories...
Try to forgive love, 'cause love's forgotten me...

My little decoy...




On my bed. Tutu elastic 3 inches into my skin basically. Throat feels like I've swallowed sandpaper. Quite a pissy mood, I dunno why. It's the whole kinda 'list of people I like and most of them don't like me' thing. Seriously, Summer truly fucked with my self esteem. I say it ALL THE BLOODY TIME. But I was so proud of myself after the operation, I entered the Summer confident and strong and feeling beautiful. Now the Summer's whispering off into the cold grey of Winter and I feel so down and out. I'm ending this Summer as the ugly girl who entered second year last September. The girl with no boyfriend, the girl with too much make-up, the girl gaining weight rapidly over the past month. Glasses, braces and a huge scar. I really just want to leave Lucy behind, but that's not going to happen. I swear, as soon as the braces are off and my hair is dyed and I've began with a healthy diet and exercise regime, I'll be a different person. Harder, better, faster, stronger. Th-that-that-that that don't kill me can only make me stronger, but I need it to hurry up now, 'cause I can't wait much longer. It's driving me mental; I thought I was over the phase at cringing and crying at my reflection, but I hate it. I'm such a slut too. Horny as fuck. Seriously, boy tells me to oblige, and I will. My tits get me attention; That's why I let 'em hang out. Without my body, I'm a nobody, a little girl stuck in a big world. I want out. It's all so confusing and frustrating and all the draaah'ma. Grr. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the life I have, and I have it so easy, but it feels like something's missing, and I always want what I can't have and how come everyone else can hold down a nice, friendly boy for longer than 2 weeks? I'm just an epic fail. Epic fail to the m-a-xizzle.

On brighter, less 'zOMG this blog's so whiney/emo/pathetic' note, I watched Sweeney Todd today and I thorougghllyyy enjoyed it. I mean, I used to be bad with the whole gore thing, like slit throats and strangling and glass shards, but this barber slit about 6 peoples throats and I was fine. I did get a teeeensy bit queasy at the end when he's killing zee Judge. He's literally like 'STABBY RIP STAB STAB' and like PPPHTOW. It wasn't *holds down dinner* experience. More like *covers mouth with hand for no apparent reason* experience. I adored it. I'd buy it if I hadn't already 'shared' it. It's Tim Burton; It's part of my nature to fan-girl to any Burton movie.
I'm already fan-girling @ Alice In Wonderland and that's not out in cinemas 'til next March. Crazy ass shit right there.

'Cus that's just who I am this week. Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum. I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in this song. Fall Out Boy lyrics are just my lifeee. Well, you know, only self obsessed teens relate to lyrics written by self obsessed teens. That's how the world works... right? I mean, Gok Wan probs listens to Elton, unless that's only considered relevant to me. In which erase the last sentence from your mind. That was probably quite offensive to the gay audience. Don't worry, I love gays. I'm not straight myself. Everyone loves gays though. It's like.. human nature. Or the opposite. Now I'm being offensive again. Forceful stfu-ittude.


Well, as always, I'm out of things to say, because Fall Out Boy is distracting. And hardly anyone's on msn.
Peace to my lovers, haters, and masturbators. (Y)
LUCY XOXO





I'll be your best kept secret, and your biggest mistake.. ;)