WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PEN?

Those elysian smiles I thought I'd keep forever...



Hello, oh dedicated/lazy fags of readers. See I went for sarcasm at the start of that tribute to you guys but then I decided that I'd have to make it clearer for the blondes and children. Although basically two people read the blog and even then it's usually just one. Props to you, Vicky, for being that one. Errrrm, yeah, so apologies for last night's post. It was an emo day. Except I was outside hyper for it, and then I went home and the sugar rush wore off. And then emo blog post. I'll try and make this as long and detailed as possible but knowing me I'll run off and eat midway and maybe or maybe not publish this later. Just to make it easier for you to understand my settings and location and what not, I am in our sitting room type thingy. I can see over the top of zee laptop, and what is there is the coconut hair painting of a cat stretched out on grass. Not very logical anatomically, it appears to have no elbows. Poor elbowless cat. Anyhoo, I can see my sister typing over on the Apple. She keeps bending over the couch to check her phone. I don't get why she can't just let it reside closer to her. She's a freeeak... Ahaha; says me. She types kinda weird. It sounds like horseys running along on tar. Or cobblestones. Whichever takes your fancy, I suppose. I can also see the kiddie piano that my grandparent's thought I need for Christmas last year. Which 13 year old needs a small fake keyboard that allows you to use two whole keys at the same time? Okay. Scratch all that because I occasionally use it to sing along to Kelsey. I can feel my wet hair down my back and I'm pretty sure the water in it is gonna leave a patch of coldness on my bra. And my morning breath. Reminds me that I need to brush my teeth. That's right, folks, I do forget to brush my teeth, so shoot me. The sun is streaming in the window. Big fucking window. Why is the sun so annoyingly bright? And it always manages to get into my eyes. Mr Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun, fuck off and leave me alone. The hilarity if Barney actually sang my amazing lyrics to the little children. Oooooh and then to top it all off: 'I love you, you love me, I'll touch you, don't try to scream.' Hey, Barney producers, hire me to write your kiddy songs. (Y)

In case you guys think the (Y) thing is a crappy internet memeish symbol for cleavage; No, It isn't. It's a thumbs up sign. See the resemblance. The brackets symbolize the hands and the Y symbolizes the creases and shit. Speaking of hand gestures, anyone ever see the collegehumor episode 'Hand Vagina'? You gotsa put your hand's together and then spread the fingers out, and then someone does the same, and one of you's keeps your hands vertical while the other turns them horizontally. Tilt the fingers towards the other person like so the fingertips are parallel to the person. And then MR/MRS horizontal slots their hand between MR/MRS vertical's middle and pointer fingers. And then horizontal person opens their hand upwards and looks inside and there's a vagina. Me and Kate kept doing that one of those indoor Summer days and then we kept getting all squeamish and it was gross. Like we were actually looking at eachother's vagina's except we weren't. We promise. It's even better if you slide a finger into the holey gappy thing and it feels like you're being penetrated not that I would know, but it made my hand all tingly. OMFG, I'm clearly a handasexual. Society will spite me now, they'll build walls around me like the lepers/leopard's way back when in Jerusalem. And then Jesus will come and save me.. *sarcasmface*. Oh yeah, guys, guess what?! We're all gonna die in 2012. Yaaaay. It's pretty damn obvious that everyone is over-reacting just like Y2K. Nothing happened in Y2K. We all lived. Durrh. Because if we didn't I wouldn't be typing this, you wouldn't be reading this, and my sister wouldn't be giving me a headache. If we do all die though, I hope it's like Cloverfield. How cool would it be to see your closest friends and family members all pop from infected alien wounds? Pop goes the huuuuman. I liked that scene in the movie. She went into the tent and then you see this weird explosion of blood and guts and person. Well, that was after she started bleeding out of her eyes. She really shoulda got those symptoms checked out when they first appeared. Silly, silly girl. Was I the only one who thought that actress was the awesome supposed lesbian out of Mean Girls except she was all grown up and mature and didn't have those stupid dreadplaits anymore? Maybe it's just my eyesight. *sigh*.

Some reallly bitchy people are pissing me off of late. Note to self, buy harpoon gun and then have bitchkillingspree and invite other people who would like to see said bitches die painfully. Oooh better idea: induce false labour in each girl after inpregnating them with a manwhore (ahah, people who know me personally will already have one name in their head) and then as they go through excruitiating child birth pain, slit their throats halfway and watch 'em bleed out. Better yet, how about I simply ignore them and stop acting like I hate them with a passion when I really just want to be neutral like Switzerland towards them and then I can stay out of jail for murder/manslaughter and live a happy life as a Vietnamese hobo who isn't from Vietnam.


Well,
I'm going to go now.
So peace out, girl scout.
LUCYXOXO

[[PS:
I set my friends on fire, the musical.
From last year, but the pen song is a classic.]]






Ooh, and look up 'Jody Has A Hitlist'.
They phucking rockkkkk.