Sticky tea dried down my legs, home-done french manicure chipped, sticky face cream slathered on to skin. It feels like two sharp knives are right in at my spine, at the base. Just jammed between the vertebrae, and laughing as I contort in this agony. It's not even the physical agony, and I don't know why any of this is agonizing. I'm self obsessed, in a bizarre way. Like I love myself, but because I hate myself. 01.17 am. Remnants of tonight's kohl streaming down my puffy cheeks. I want fresh air, sunny days, a camera in my hand, sunflowers surrounding me. Something surreal, being wrapped in webs and downy duvets of fairytale lies. I guess I'm just never happy. I only think of my self as a failure. The days that I feel beautiful are the days when I haven't insulted someone. It just doesn't click; When I achieve something, I just aim higher until I reach these unthinkable desires. Evil things, bitchy things. Things against the girl code. Things against morals. I really wish I could decipher who I am. It's like a code. I don't know what it is.
Gaa. What can I say; I never enjoy it. For a while I do, but then I slide or something. I can't stand this. Two posts make me crazy. I'm just going to put in a picture I took in Cavan over the summer. It's blurred to the left, it's black and white, but I like the picture. It's the type of photography that literally plasters deviantart, but fuck it, bite me.
(click to enlarge, as always)
LUCY XX Comment me. Or facebook. Or something.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Fuck son. 7 comments. Now that's more like it. This is gonna be short, because I'm hyper-excited and stuff. And facebooking. Woo for laptop being fixed. Happy days, eh? It's perfect and I'm chilling listening to Weezer and Manson in my knickers, scrubbing two names off my hands because Jemma made me. This is the good life. I'm pretty happy except for the whole 'lucy is at window watching life whilst other people are actually playing with life and shit' feeling I've been getting lately. I've been mighty half-assed, as you can see from lack of pictures in this post. Camera for XMAS. Proper photography type one instead of silly little cybershot. I'm trés excited. Fuji Finepix SI500fd. It's the cheapest SI there is so I'm like woooo. It's 10mp which is good, even though my last one was 12mp but I can't wait. Ahhh photo happinesss...
Today is Friday the 13th. Stuff of legend, and myth. I have great luck on these days because of my mirror experience 6 years ago. I'm quite superstitious about mirrors and glass. They have this odd aura or something. Mirrors can be a blessing or a curse, depending whose looking in and if they're being watched from the other side. I was like drop smash grr. It was my sister's and I always felt like since it wasn't my property, it doubled the curse or something. I swear, I'm not crazy.
Typing like a crackhoe today. So hyper. It's unbelievable. Type type play play FAAACEEBOOKKK. I better go now, so as not to embarrass myself further on the interwebs.
Hit me up with some comments, babyyyy.
LUCY XX
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Look at me all spontaneous. I've gone for Minima Lefty as my template because I really wanted normal comments back instead of dumb old c-box. I like this, but I'm sure it'll lose me followers or prospective followers. So if you're reading today's posts (this is the second) - comment on this one please, and make sure to tell me if you liek it or not. (:
3rd day of sickness, I really think maybe I should study but gah the effort. Missed school talent show out of being ill last night. Epic fail. Drag Me To Hell = Total letdown. What is with 2009 horrors? They suck. The only one that lived up to my expectations was Final Destination. Jennifer's Body was a good comedy, but the build-up to Cody's horror debut was so unnecessary. There was blood, and black pricky vomit but that's as far as the gore went. And the music didn't make suspense. As horror movies usually go, it did stray from usual human breeding. Through out the whole film, Needy searched her abode in complete darkness. Helloooo, woman, when there are brutal killings in your city, would you not flick the light switch? In Drag Me to Hell, a gust of wind leads her to cry. Uhm.. I'm not sure about you guys but when air rushes my way.. I don't start bawling my eyes out? Directors, eh?
Copy and Paste what some wemo bebo commented me last night: "lol at lil wannabe scene skanks who look like a retarded fetus :) :L" Haha fun times? These bebo 'fames' are just getting on my nerves. Thou are not holier than I shall ever be. God has not placed superiority upon thou sacred palm. Suck my lefty. Jesus, he could at least spell foetus scientifically. Rawr. I'm not a scene wannabe either? I'm the opposite. I'm not a bulimic, loose-trousered loser. Just a plain old loser. And I loveee being a loser. Je n'aime pas tu filles et garcons Scene; Je n'aime pas tu!! Get this though, my readers. His bebo profile states : Scene. Pshh, way to hypocritise. Is that a word, even? Fuck it.
Lately, parents have been doing a lot of fighting. Not as much as before they almost divorced, but more than normal. And my mom's always crying and I wish I could extend my hand for help... but I can't. These are her problems and she hates people trying to help. Stubborn, like me I guess. The house thing is worrying me too. I don't wanna live on the streets. That'd suck.. I feel like the parentals are in denial of the debt. 'If we can't see it, it's not there' kinda thing. I feel like the adult here. They still have these great expectations of me. That I get all a's in everything, but if they checked my journal and copies and tests, they'd see I'm not assed at any of it. I really don't see the point of any of it. Listening to Lily Allen's 22, I started thinking about my fairytale ending, and about how it probably wont have one. I'll end up like the girl in 22... Single, used, without a career; Lounging in front of Eastenders with a little tin of takeaway noodles. Epic Fail.
GaGa's amazing new video for Bad Romance - yes, folks, I finally found the real video && embedded it for you - is totally turning me GaGa. I remember when I totes hated Lady Gaga and her affiliates at the Haus Of Gaga but recently.. Hell yeah, I'm feeling it. I wish I had gig money for her Monster Ball. I'll see her next year. This video brings everything that I love in a good music video into one. Craziness, quirkiness, contacts, a clever advertisement and originality. Bath Haus Of Gaga, the crazy pink perm, the French section of the lyrics, the massive deer-in-headlights contact lenses, the scantily clad GaGa herself. She is hot. I'm beginning to think 2010 is the true Birth of GaGa.
Thanks for the comments. But I need more. Link to friends day?
Haven't posted since last Thursday. Comments for once. Happy days. Sick for the past two days, stomach bug. I've been thinking a lot lately.. About stupid things. Like gifts or talents. Everyone is supposed to have one? Ashling is a good listener, Merissa is funny and a good singer, so is Jemma, Georgia is a great writer, Efa is beautiful and intelligent. Hang on, they're all beautiful and intelligent. And they're all good at sport. Grr at their talents but ILTHEM. I'm kinda just... here. I'm such a moanbag, eh? I just wonder WHAT IS MY PURPOSEEE?. S'like I was placed here to make people look better. Ahh, distracted by Robbie's You Know Me and him in his bunny suit. O.o. Anywaaay, I don't think I have a point in being here. I think about all those starving people with bamboo huts and no parents who deserve my life, and then go... why does such a selfish, psycho-whore like me have the life they deserve? Either life is a total bitch, or that person in the sky has Tarantino-humour. Birth, bitch, bereavement.
Gaa disco on Friday. Hell yeah, party up. *major sargasm*. Nothing better than stumbling in the dark, vodka and fake tan filling your nostrils and all the beautiful people tongue-orgying their way to popularity and prosperity. And then there are the wallflowers, like me, staring longingly at their 3-foot legs and their bright dyed hair. Funsiez like. School = suxxor. Too much homework. Faiil. I want to lay down and scream my lungs out in the middle of maths. Just lay there and yell out what I feel about the Junior Cert and our dastardly politicians, buying iPhone 3Gens with money straight out of the tax-payers pocket. While the rest of us struggle to pay our electricity bills. FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCK IRELAND GRR. I vote we all move to America. All in favour, say I.
Shout out to Dannysaurus Rex. Because he's online and I need people to talk to because sick days are fail but win at same time. Hayley Williams new blonditude makes her look like young Madonna, lookkkkk. Paramore in December. T'woo T'woo. She lives in a faaaiiiryyytaaalleee. So hyper and distracted. Like Tessa, Aka Meekakitty. Youtube her if you silly earthlings have not tubequainted yourselves with the almighty Meekster. This time of year is actually so beautiful; I look out the window and JD-moment how amazing nature is. The crisp leaves curling at the edges, the warm colours caressing eachother. It's times like this when I wish I wasn't idiotic enough to break my camera beyond repair. My dad suggested I use the family cybershot, but it's so not me. When I used to use my black camera with the Carl Zeiss retracting lens, it was like holding a small child that captured memories. Y'alls probably like EHM WTF. But to me this all makes sense. Inside my head. Oh gosh, I think I'm semi autistic.
Right. I am a crazy psycho who is squashing two people in to one skin. Yikess. Well, Jade is my new outlet. I'm trying hard to stop bitching. Unsuccessfully. So Jade's there to let out all this hatred and shit.
I haven't properly blogged in quite a while so I'll aim for it today. Junior Cert. Arggghhh. They hype it up so much that it actually scares me now. I feel like I need to study. I got 68% in Maths. Which is great for me. I was like YAYY because I passed and got honour. Happy days. I'm so hungry lately too. For a while I thought, OMFG pregnant but then smart brain type think kicked in 'Lucy, you aren't getting any, and you won't be for a longggg time, kthxbai.' So I'm just a fat cow. Seriously, my thighs are like sacks filled with custard. I walk and they slap against each other and echo. Need to exercise. I might go back to working out in my room before bed. That's what always kept me fit. It sounds horrible, but I wish I went back to post-operation-underweight. Most definitely, you're all there cringing in your seats, feeling embarrassed for my lack of depth or tutting at me in horror and superiority. But I find thin beautiful. I used to lie and say some people were too thin, but there's no such thing. And guys fall for those over-thin girls.
Speaking of guys, I repel them utterly. It's a curse. Hitler had a wife, yet I don't have a boyfriend. Helllooooo.. earth to dating community? I'm right here. There must be some semi-neurotic hater out there suited for me, in a flannel shirt and skinny jeans with natural hair? Or just a fellow reader, in jeans and a t-shirt who listens to David Bowie religiously. Or maybe a happy, smiley ear-pierced skanger, because opposites attract? Grr. I give up. Y'all are like 'You're fourteen, you've got a life ahead of you to find love...' but I want it now. I want someone to cuddleee and be warm with and hear his heart beating through his shirt and melt melt orgasm noise. Pride and Prejudice has put my expectations and hopes at a brand new level. I want a Mr. Darcy... mysterious, repelling, charming in a bad-mannered way. Rich too. Or a Mr. Wickham... outrageously handsome with a way of twisting people. Mmmm. Jane Austen has both impeccable taste and an amazing imagination.
Cillian, I would like to apologize for any judgments I made on this blog of you, but there's so much gossip about everything and I was angry and omfg unnecessary drama everywhere. Everyone's fighting. End of 2k9, loike, on a bad note. Drama, drama everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Hang on.. That's not it. W Factor Junior Heats on soon. To all of you cultured foreigners, W Factor is our school talent show. Great name, huh? But I think I'mma go. Because if it's not good, it's going to be hilarious. And if it is good, then it's worth our money. The seniors are usually better, but I can go to the finals to see them. Starting to like Gaga's new hit. Will embed.
Lucy xx Comment again, laydeez. And actuaalllyyy, Neko, I was (Y) for you. :B
Bitch has landed. That's it. I'm fed the fuck up of all of you. The human species. We're mistakes; Disgusting, horrible mistakes. This is my alter-ego. Fuck it if I'm crazy, Fuck it if you consider it a multiple personality disorder. I'm going to call this alter-ego.. Jade. Jade the killer psycho bitch. Jade, the strong, courageous, beautiful, popular, loved version of Lucy. As Jade, I hate the human race. Girls my age... Catty. Bitchy. Scandalous. Read Neko's blog... and it confirmed whichever theories I had of girls anyway. Why does anyone have the right to point out another's flaws? Damnit, I'm sorry my genetics made me look like this? I'm sorry I was brought up with a poor sense of judgement and the ability to make mistakes? Any girl reading this... I want you to cut other girls some slack. Forgive, forget, do what it takes. That comment you nearly made about that girl? Swallow it. About that girl you were going to nudge in the corridor 'accidentally'? Pin your arm down.
Promise for a proper post soon. I really do.
Jade, Lucy's evil inner twin.
xx
[This time, please bother commenting. Props to Lulu & Vic. Pandas FTW]
Hello, the dear people who actually can bother their arses to read this. I kept procrastinating and going 'Ughh, I'll do it later' on the blogging front, but now I finally got to doing it at 9:15am, Sunday. This time tomorrow I'll be listening to the buzz of class and whispers of who fucked who and who lost their hand to fireworks. Halloween 2'k'9 = Suxxor. It failed hard. Didn't go out for the whole day and then Dad rented Final Destination 2, because Drag Me To Hell was all out. He watched half of the movie with me and then ran off to go to some party with my sister's friend's parents. I was left alone with hormonal mommy, because her painters are in, and we watched x-factor and I bitched and moaned at her about wanting to be real proper blonde.
Speaking of X-Factor, I reaaallyyy hated rock night. They wrecked some of my favourite songs.. Joe took Journey's classic: Don't Stop Believing and made it into a boring anti-ballad which was about as bloody inspiring as Paris Hilton's autobiography. Stacey the Dimwit did a over-vibrato, pop version of Keane's Somewhere Only We Know and Lloyd targetted the girlies with I kissed a Girl... Which really isn't rock. Anyhoo, he wasn't attractive and was utter fail. Danyl (<3) did a song I didn't know, but it was kind of mojo-less. I hate how they give him such a hard time. Stacey, Lloyd and Jedward suck & should be voted out. And Danyl has real talent. Like, magik tear-jizz-love-inducing singing. Sigh.
Weekend = Boring. No homework done. Will probs do today. Feeling pretty down for no reason. I don't get how people do that bitey MSN personal message. When they pick something subtle but obvious and display it for everyone with a sarcastic smiley face after it. It doesn't seem very mature to me. Nobody's mature nowadays, aight?
I'mma go now. Linking you to some of my social networking accounts. Add me and follow me etc. LOVE YOU GUYS.
This is going to be short because it's my morning cup of tea and I need to go have a shower etc. I'm turning over another new leaf. I plucked up the courage to get prescription skin cream (ikr, but I'm retarded and hate doctors), I'm not going to try as hard and hope everything just tumbles and lands together like a jigsaw.
I'm thankful that... My parent's aren't divorced, I've got two best friends who I adore... (But I don't think they understand it.) My back is fixed. I'm intelligent. I'm single. I am myself, and only that. I make mistakes.
I want to just say something before I sign out. Everybody is equal. I heard a conversation yesterday between two people. PS. I don't care what they think of me. Anyway, they were talking about someone who occasionally thinks she's better than other people. And one of the people talking stated that it was with due reason. And the other nodded. No. No. No. No. Nobody is better than anyone else. We all make the same mistakes. We're all the same race. No matter if you're annoying, socially retarded, bad-mannered, conceited, depressed, overly cynical.... We're all the same. Human. And no matter what you think... No matter how far your head is up your ass and how much better you think you are then everyone else... You're just the same as the person your criticizing.
And I wish I had realized it sooner. Lucy xx Comment. TimeSurge - great posts, all the time.
Stop with this monotoneeee. Feels like liquid life is rolling off my back. I wish I could live hard and fast... Pull these stupid metal torture devices off with pliers, get suspended, drink, smoke and snort like a rockstar, totter around in 6 inches everyday. Fuck in ditches, have boys trailing at my feet. Ash blonde dye with bright pink coon-tails. I want to be bright-bold-beautiful... but I'm left as Lucy Bennett. The 14 year old with braces and bad skin and no excessive prettyness in any form and an expanding waistband and no tits and no boyfriend. And I'm a waste of space... my parents say it enough and everyone else acts like it. My house is my cage.. I'm just a bird with clipped wings. I feel like I don't get to explore.. I feel trapped and secluded and stupid. I want out.
Today, today, today. Some hot blonde milf came to check out the house to rent. We cleaned 'til 3. Doctors appointment at 5.30. So I went out anyway. Me, Missa & Ash trailed after some people and then got bored and pulled a 'toilet break' at her house for tea and fuddzz. Mmm, golden syrup on toast. And we played 'Do, Date, Dump' and Truth because we know Ashling only ducks into the Dare option. For any inquisitive young people, No, Ashling doesn't poke herself, which we discovered in truth. (Y). It rained today. Surprise, fuckkingg surprise. I was reading Time;Surge and it was about rain and it was lovely. There's something therapeutic about rain. Only when you're indoors listening and watching though. Outside it's just annoying, when eyeliner dribbles and that white t-shirt you wore reaallllly wasn't such a great idea. But indoors, it's like toddlers dancing on your roof, like watching a thousand glittering fairies dance and drop, dance and drop. 3 hour doctor wait... Just for acne cream. There were these two adorable korean kids and that brightened the trip.
I really miss my camera. It's like a horcrux. Like someone destroyed part of my soul. PS. That sounded 18x better before I typed it. On those rare occasions that I look nice, I like to capture it and display it. Oh, and those beautiful gradient pink-orange-indigo sunsets that are so ethereal. Keyword is bracelet. I had to go and fuck up and break it, right? Laptop screen, broken. Phone, broken. Camera, broken. iPod, lost. I try so hard to be careful and graceful but damn, is that a fail. And I'm clumsy. I fall and trip all the time. I thought nobody noticed, but then people started describing me as 'the clumsy blonde' so... I obviously wasn't as inconspicuous as I'd previously wished and assumed.
Hardly any comments. Just Georgia & Vic again. ILY guys. You always comment. It keeps me blogging when you guys comment. It turns on my light-bulb of hope and creativity. I'mma go now because I'm tired and need tea to give myself envigorating bounce etc. Addicted to Kesha's Tik-Tok.
LUCY XX COMMENT
Monday, October 26, 2009
Take Me Out...
My period leaked all over my favourite Hilfiger jeans. The only denim blue jeans I have. Skinny fit, ass-clinging beauty-of-a-pair-of-jeans. I adore them. I am praying that Mother Nature's scarlet flowing tides is no match for Vanish Oxi Action.
Bank Holiday Weekend Midterm Start.. (Y). T'was pretty damn awesome. Saturday, me and Missa wandered and got lost in forest and then met up with peeps etc. I think I said that last post. Anyway, Sunday... Oh yes, Missa slept over. Watched One Missed Call. Fucking freaky shit, Missa wasn't affected, she is totally horror-tolerant. I was terrified. Naturally. She snores like a hoover. She is too too funny though. Wrote a rap about George the Nigger. Danced to 'I've got a little puppy' by The Smurfs. Oh, the fun. Todayyy, we had separate showers, dried our hair, did our make-upsss. Then I went back Missa's place and waaaaalkkeedddd to call for Ash. We looked mad 80s, me and Missa, cus we both curled our hair and had these whopper bows and leather jackets and illuminous shit. We were ballin' loike. I'm mad hyper. Because I ate like a harse. White chocolate, sour jawbreakers, that sugar-filled over-advertised sour spray thingymabob, salt and vinegar twists. I feel fat as fuck. But I was mad hyper. To the extent that Dannysaurus Rex actually asked if I was drunk. Ste had whiskey though, I fink, but I wasn't going to risk groundation over the mid-term for a swig. And then I basically hip-hop-super-moshed to Taylor Swift and Busted and MJ. And me and Missa did our 'I've gotta little puppy' dance again. Complete with loud refrains of 'POOPAAAA, POOPA SCOOPA'. We really oughta get our heads checked.
I felt so ugly today, and fat and unwanted. I felt like everyone's always staring me down, like the disobedient young child who is always misbehaving... the ugly misfit. And the whole dramarama doesn't help. Dividing the group is just pointless... It's not like it's going to help anything. It's not like it's going to magically work. I apologized. She just didn't accept it. I know so much that I went way too far out of line. And I understand why. But I wish I never said it, I wish I could shut my mouth, I wish I wasn't such a fuck up. I always wonder how the people I know... how their lives would play out if I never existed. If I wasn't ever there or if I vanished. I always think people would be happier. People seem sad when I'm near. Like I drag grey rain clouds above me on a string like helium balloons. I don't know. Epic fail.
I have never read Hamlet. I don't know if it's on the senior cycle curriculum, but I think it is. But over the past couple of weeks, I've been familiarizing myself with Ophelia, the young woman in love with Hamlet. He original shows her love back, but he begins to ignore her and reject her, and finally humiliate her. And she was so heartbroken she drowned herself, whilst singing love songs and entwining flowers into her hair. The painting is by Alexandre Canabel, and Shakespeare himself wrote the passage in which she dies colourfully and beautifully....
"There is a willow grows aslant the brook, That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream; There with fantastic garlands did she come. Of crow-flowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples. There on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds Clambering to hang an envious sliver broke. When down the weedy trophies and herself Fell in the weeping brook."
I don't know why I'm so captured by the tale... I think it's just so sad. Men, eh? Grrr. Now I'm angry at men over fiction. Boys too. I'm so peculiar. I'm in my early teens, yet when I'm single I want to be held, and when I have somebody, I'm mostly uncomfortable. The people I'm actually comfortable with break up with me. This year I've felt like such a failure in the boyfriend thing. Ash will go 'No, I'm worst than you' but she isn't because boys do want her she just doesn't put herself out there in that sense. Longest relationship for me: 2 weeks 3 days. That's an epic fail. I broke up with 3 because I was uncomfortable.... and those were the two-week ones. And then 4 broke up with me, some in a lot less than a week. I thought I was okay about it by now. I thought I was over it. But I feel kind of threadbare. Empty. Only 70 years to go.
Youth Club was almost as bad as the gaa. At least I knew people at youth club. My little case of the snifflez and coffz is now a big case of the snifflez, coffz && sneeezez. But I'm not sick. Teehee. Sleepover with Missa tonight. I feel like an eleven year old. I'm mad excited too. I haven't had a sleepover since well before the operation. Ash was s'posed to come but she's babysitting. Roll on 2k10 bbz. Winter = hatred. I can't even get xmas presents this year 'cus we're poor. So basically, I just want it all to be over with, the unnecessary snifflez & the bad weather.
Pretty pearls mommy bought me..... broke mysteriously snapped in the key word is banana middle of the night all by themselves. Still not doing anything for Halloween. And it's my favourite time of year. This year was effing great. (:
Nothing else to write. Life is boring, monotonous, boringly monotonous and monotonously boring.....
Look at that belt. I want, I want, I want. I re-discovered my inner fashion-obsessed girly girl at 4am when I had sudden coughing fit and woke up. Naturally, at 4am I a) could not make noise && b) was extremely bored. So, flick flick flick, I searched my bookshelf 'til I found that Rachel Zoe chick's guide to style. I was like OMG lulz this is going to be over-indulgent, materialistic shit. But it wasn't. So I made myself a list of things to make me stylish again. It went like:
Red lipstick
Black liquid eyeliner
Scarf
Plain denim stone-washed skinnies
Chanel inspired items
Go to Designer Swap Shop
Pearls
Woolly hat
Patent pumps/heels
Cardigan
Save up for Top Shop splash
Unknowingly, my mother totally contributed so I crossed out what she got. Lovely style reformation day.
Going to go blonder too. Blonde, understated-fashionista type Lucy is coming soon to a theater near you....
Non-uniform day tomorrow. Was going to dress up for Halloween but nobody else is and I'd walk in as scary zombie and they'd lul so hard they'd piss on their plastic chairs. Now, I'mma wear my brand new stripey cardigan, my denim mini-skirt, nude tights, pearls, tartan converse (gives me le grande clashingness/originality). Today's keyword is plaque. I'm hoping that everyone won't laugh and go zOMG thighs. YC tomorrow. Hardly anyone's going. Cept' Missa Mushroom and Efaa.
Cillian's blog = bastardly piece of shit. He goes on for two paragraphs about Sarah and how, to put it in simpler terms, she is the spawn of the devil. Sarah Morrin is one of the nicest, prettiest girls I've met in my entire life. And Cillian, he totally screwed her over, whether he denies it or not. Fucking someone and then asking their best friend out...? That's soooo not screwing her over. And then he goes on about people bitching about people on their blogs, instead of saying it to their face, in a later post. And he spelt cynic wrong. His piece of total shit.
And I know, I'm being hypocritical by bitching at him on my blog. But blog-to-blog combat is perfectly fine in my head. :D
I'mma love you and leave you. Comment=Twitter=Smile Lucy xx
Welcomeee. 'Nother doss week in school. Yesterday was an ecology trip, which was me trekking, panting, trekking, panting and searching for bugs. I mean, walk down the hill = funzies. Walk back up it... diezies. On the plus side, the bus back to school was mighty awesomesauce. Cheryl Cole singalongs ftw. Today, we were off at 12.40. Sooo basically, I only had maffs, assembly fingy, geoggers, francais annnndddd irish. GUESS WHAT? Major swine flu outbreak. 202 people were out sick yesterday. Out of 700 students. D: Like, ffs. SHUT DOWN THE SCHOOl. One of the teachers has it. Emma has it. Shout out to that loveelly girly. She had to listen to my amazing singing on the bus... may God bless her. Piles of business h/w due Thursday from last Friday. I hope Ms. Plunkett gets it. Does morbid obesity make you high-death-risk? And she's too fat to get to a doctors too. Yesssssssss. Witch!lucy escaped to, loike, bid bad wishes to that rotund lady. If you're reading this Ms. Plunkett, I am greatly sorry and do not mean to insult you... kinda.
Everyone's blogging. Grr. I bring it up every second post, but helloooo, I started it. All hail Lucy, queen of North Kildare Region Blogger Pages. 'Cus my blog has effort and almost-daily-posts and a real mofoing template instead of a crappy preset or some tacky twilight one or cupcake one. Sigh. Wan's blog is purdy cool. I need to link more people too. Please note; If you want to be linked, you gotta comment for a while. You can't just show up, go straight to my c-box and be laik 'HAI GIMME LINKZEZ'. BTW, that actually wasn't pointed towards you, Naddie, but if you're doing what I said you won't even know. O.o heyyy, I have a preventative method. Keywords. I'll give y'all a keyword to put in the c-box if you read the latest post. Today's keyword is areola. Yes, that is a part of your nipple, for you twerds who don't know but sense that an awesome word like that must be related to boobage in some way.
Slootpocalypse Halloween is gonna suck for me this year. Can't go Ste's party which some young ladies will be delighted by. Actually, boys too. Basically, everyone. And everyone who isn't going is previously engaged w/ trick or treating and shit (which I agree with, for free sweety reasons). I'll probably sit at home alone and spend my time on Caféworld and updating my blog header. Maybe rent out Teeth. Alone. Nothing better than a night alone with vagina dentata. Msn me if your would like to join me :( .. That made for awkward sad-ass moment. Shout out to Nicky Graydon because he is first class nerdtacular. Ehmm... oh yes, 5 comments: Vic, Missa, Naddie, Lulu and Sarah so luvvage to them. I was like SMILEYSMILEYLOVED for an hour. I'm a sad, sad girl.
Ba da da daaaa *finds rad pics for this post on Google* .....
Leaving you with this sexy cover of Britney's new song, 3, about uhmm... a threesome. I fink these guys are better. ;)
Well, hello thereee. Haven't blogged in a while. No comments loike. Faaaiill.
I've put my bloggedy blog on loads of those blog directory thingies but to no avail. The magick drags down like un anchor. Teeheehee. Lucy didn't go out yesterday, because Ash and Missa weren't going out and I would've been stuck with people who hate me which... isn't my ideal backdrop tbh. Went to the disco.. *finger lifty dance nerd thing*. It sucked like a Dyson. Me and Ash knew like nobody so we trailed around after Lowa and Fiona like STDs and tried to take pictures of them and random fellas swapping spit. I met 5 people. Which is an All Time Low (I got your pictuuuureeee..) for me. 5 ugly fellas, dare I say it. I really don't want to go. I looked horrible and over-dressed and ew braces and the place was sweaty and gross and most of the third years were locked and the rest were just first years. Some phitty was grinding on Fiona and this gorgeeeyyyy boy was chatting Ailbhe up and I was like waddafuck whydoibother because Ailbhe the recluse pulled and LUCY DIDNT. Thank you, Mr. Gene Pool, bad teeth, and tempting fatty foods.
X -Factorrrrr. I'm totally xdicted. I was like OOH JOHNANDEDWARD who I used to hate but have grown oddly fond of which is truly peculiar. Still fap to adore Danyel Johnson. Mmm Mmm Mmm. Big fucking whoop that he's bi, y'all should be thankful that he shares and cares. Look at that: (fap fap fap)
Todayyysss, I'm wearing my purdy denim skirt and my black H&M plaity-bordered, floaty top thing. And my racy-lacy penneys tights. Gotta love de Primark. I do truly adore these tights. They're so sexual. My skin is really crap lately. I have these two spots right on the border of my upper lip, directly symmetrical to each other like some gay type of angelbites. I need to get healthy but the aldi brand junk food always screams my name. I need more food willpower. But none of that. I need a cigarette also. Might bum some today or dip into my savings. Trouble with owning my own pack of cigs is that I'd get caught so dang easy. I always act suspicious. Like the day I sneaked to town, I came home all James Bond. My ma went 'Want some gum?' in the car on the way home and I was like 'What? No! What are you saying? I'm a good girl!'. Fail Lucy is fail; Danny hasn't blogged in yeaurs. Little whorebag. Not really, btw, in case people take it seriously and start off with those 'BLOGS JUST CAUSE FIGHTS *cry cry*' blog posts. Grr FU to you haterssssssssssss. <3
Paramore soon. And Halloween. Need to find cunning plan to go Ste's and smoke and lesbian sex. And I need to make my costume for school. And I need to dry my hair. HAHA.
Noticed something. Romance is the only thing that plagues my brain lately. T'is peculiar. Love seems to be temporary, illusory. And yet, I still fucking adore the concept. It's like the idea of afterlife... an anesthetic. Yet for some unknown reason, I want it. Even teenage love would do me. I just want the experience. I have never even passed those little twinkling 'I love you's that mean nothing. All I want for Christmas is an American import. ;)
Was reading Big Woo again. How much would it suck if my parents read my blog? I'd be grounded for years. I tell enough lies as it is. White lies that cling together like chewing gum fragments and make one big ball of chewing gum lies. Speaking of parents, daddy dearest is in Berlin and mumsy is in that disappointed mood. I swear, I could fail one test and she treats me like I got knocked up. 'zOMG I r so upset. U haz ruined churr liiiiiife' as phucking if. Halloween dress up day in school is themed. 3rd years are Scooby Doo. FML. I'd prefer to be dressed as a Barbie. Clever Mia pointed out that Scooby has enemies. Teehee. So I'mma be a zombie. And I better win this year. -.-
Schoooool. 3rd year is utter stressstressstress. I wonder what I'l be like in leaving cert year, eh? Or when I'm a big grown up Lucy, giving birth. Ew. Scratch that. Note to self: Contraceptive pills & Adoption FTW. Tsk tsk to Teen Drama. Wishy washy shite, I dare say. None of us have real problems. We'll have problems later on, when we're unemployed and our parents die etc. I don't consider anything a problem. Stress, k. But not problems. PS: Leukemia kids, I am sorry, your problems are problems. Oh noes, I'm gonna cry now because people my age have leukemia. :( Imagine having cancer during exam time. Shoccckkk horror.
Soz to the intarwebs for all the forgetful non-posting. This is gonna be short and sweet. Or somefing.
I hhhhaaaveeee given up with girly-fights. I'mma bitch if I please, but I'll refrain from being two-faced or deceiving or telling secrets. 'Cus that's a good friend. Gossshhh, people are just drowning me in their red flowing tides of PMT much. Faaaail. Studying. Grrawr. Life's all fuzzy like I forgot to put my glasses on. Hair is falling out, Lucy is migrainey and cannot sleep. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like I need to lose weight too. It's peculiar. =S
I need coffee and a cigarette atm. But I'mma settle for hot choccie and 2 panadols as courtesy of my mother. Was watching Aifric. She was being whiney like me about how boys never give her chances and everyone's in love etc. I was like OMGSHE'SJUSTMEWITHIRISHTALENTANDSUPERMODELGOODLOOKS. Aifric FTW.
Yikes yikes yikes.
@Keeva: I know what I've done wrong. And I know you don't think I do and that it's an unforgiveable offence &tc. I'm afraid of speaking to you on msn. So.. ehh... I feel like talking whatever out... In person loike. I don't know. I miss you though. *failface*
Out of all my friends, I have been blogging the longest.
Okay, I don't include Danny, because he blogged about laik... Singapore.
I have 47 followers and I blog for my own goddamn purpose. I truly am totally fed up at the people blaming fights on blogs. I've addressed it before, and I'll address it until people realize and shut the motherfuck up. Blogs do not cause fights. They just wimp up fights that would otherwise involve fists in real life. It's pathetic, whatever, we get it. I'm not blogging for you guys, I'm blogging for me and my international readers like the lovely Lulu and my cousin and Vic. Bottling things up leads for a reformation on someone, or an eruption of spite and anger and everything they ever hated about certain people. How can blogs be to blame? The people who write them are taking risks, as are the people who read them.. It's the people who cause the fights. It's damn childish to blame an imaginary floating segment on whatever's going on in your life. This isn't directed at Jonny or Keeva or Merissa... It's directed at anyone who has ever blamed a blog for something that would've happened eventually; blog or no blog. This blog, ironically, isn't intended in starting a fight. If I weren't such a cowardly idiot, I'd say it to your faces. But I can't prevent the hundreds of trolls on the world wide web to their faces.
Anywaaay, sorry about that long-winded rant. Needed to be said. Okay, I like to read other people's opinions on matters, and I respect them, so you gotta remember... this is just my opinion. When a person judges, it's their opinion. (: This week was doss in school. Still failing a lot. My parent's are all tense, tight, stressed. Over my schoolwork and the whole recessionary house sale. They keep saying 'the reason I do bad is because I make no effort'. Effort is trying, right? Or am I wrong. I was always under the impression that effort was attempting. I guess my parents want perfection. My sister rolls perfection around on her hand. I kind of... strive and fail. Fuck it, I love them, but when they say stuff like that or act that way, I always mumble '4 more years...'! Some crazzzyyyy halloween party was to ensue. But I got grounded. Which is just so unfair and Jem will be like 'Grounded or "Grounded"' and I'll be like GROUNDED. I was so warmed up to the idea, I was like BRING ON THE FEST. But then I had to go and say 'goodnight' sarcastically. I don't think I'll bother with going outside this weekend. No point in it.. dare I say. People hardly noticed I'm gone, and if they do, it doesn't stop them at all. XD They prefer the psychotic evil bitch staying at home, finishing knitting her red scarf and doing homework and reading Pride & Prejudice. I'm growing quite fond of the book. Especially Fitzwilliam Darcy. Mmmmmm. Stupid Lizzy is all ignorant of him. If such grandeur and mystery wafted around a boy today, I'd be on him like an opposite-poled magnet.
I haven't blogged from an actual Mac for a whole year. Or so. I'm on the family computer/pieceacrap. Because my laptop broke. I can't even tell my parents because I broke my camera, lost my ipod, broke my phone, lost my mom's umbrella, broke my wall etc. They'd literally kill me. Or ground me for ages. Which I wouldn't mind.
Hello. Hello. HELLO. Well, this is embarassing. I was grounded, kay? It's weird, for the whole time I was banned from the computer, I just felt like blogging. I guess my mind just hates me. Or Le Grande Kahuna. Wanna know what week it is? Friendship week. I heard that in the announcement during Maths and I just mumbled to myself: 'Oh the sweet, intoxicating irony.' That's why we are here... Some odd stage drama for a cynical bloke in the sky. 'I'll throw in 2 fights here, and hey presto, Civil War of friends.' Gr-reat.
Smile, goddamit, Lucy. I have decideeeed that I am not gonna let things get to me. So I'm going to ignore my problems. Or gain enough confidence to stand up and fight. I love this blog so much. It's unbelievable. It's like my birth child. When I stand back and admire this... work of monstrosity of some form.. I'm overwhelmed with pride and happiness at what I've written and how it got me out of depression (two blogs ago, before I had friends... basically, early last year) and the way it makes me feel (the way it maaaakes me feel, it really turnsss me onn). And having people read it and comment and follow makes me smile. Like wide grin that makes pieces of my inner-cheek catch on my braces. The smiles I keep for when I'm alone. Teehee.
I was reading Merissa's blog just there and she said she agreed with someone that blogs cause fights. I just felt like retaliating and supporting the blogging community because I absolutely disagree. A blog= a web log. A diary of some sort that one introduces to the worldwide web for entertainment or self purpose. A place to state your opinion. Blogs don't cause the fight; It's the people who don't want the truth who cause the fights. What? Do you player haters want us to lie just for your self esteem? Heaven knows that you probably have a hell of an ego as it is. Do we really have to fluff it? We have a right to state our opinions as human beings, just as you have a right to use that pointy white thing to move on up to the big red 'X' and click right out of this. To anyone who finks I'm a looner. YOU HAVE THE GODDAMN RED X RIGHT. If in doubt, click out. Remember RXR. Red X Right. It works on every blog on this server. (Y)
Pssh. Muvver is sha-houting. Apparently, when a sock is on the floor, I'm a bad person. Sigghhhh. House in le paper. It's as if as soon as we're losing the house, people ask more about it. Because that's what has been happening. AHA. We can bring the dog... That cheered me up. I'm worried for my mum. She's crying all the time. This house meant a lot to her.
COMMENT ME LITTLE CHICAS AND CHICOS AND SHIT.I'm working up this big topical blog.I know I've been a shitty blogger/writer/person lately. Stresssss. I guess.I'm kinda sick now too. :S
I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance...
Dudes. Aha. Things are just getting WORSE. I hate when that happens. Thanks for le comment support. It truly did help. Grounded for the weekend... from leaving the house, from seeing anyone, from using my phone, from using my laptop. I am breaking my parent's law by typing this but I'm just explaining. I don 't know. Friday in school, Ash was out, Jem seemed pissed and it was kind of awkward around Zoe and Katie and Fiona. They apologized to me, but of course, 6 months practically despising someone isn't going snap back tight like that. *snaps fingers for emphasis*. Missed YC last night. Loadsa people went for once. FML could only be that one night, right? Even Asian Danny, the faithful blog reader turned best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend. I haven't seen him in ages, and I want to feel close to him again. In the first place, all he knew was me and I liked that. I'm an incredibly jealous person in the fact that I like people all for myself. When it's just me who knows someone, it's perfect. But when I tell my friend's about them, and they become better friends with them then I was.... dayum, that's a recipe for disaster. Disaster in my head, of course.
I need to stop fucking complaining to people. I've been doing it a lot lately. I don't know. My house went into the classifieds on Wednesday. Day after break up and fight and day where I had 3 tests and lost my home ec. Thanks, Big Kahuna. Was a great day; I didn't get to jog for the rest of the week... Wednesday, truly didn't feel like it. My legs were all knackered and I was knackered and sad so I sat down trying to drown myself in hot chocolate and marshmallows. And other stuff too. Reading Pride and Prejudice on my lonesome. Can you believe it took me three tries to type 'prejudice' right. I got that one in the first try. I knew blogs were educational. Cough cough from my sister. 08.22am. You'd think on a grounded weekend I'd lie in, but I woke up accidentally at 6 after a night of... thinking. My home ec teacher is worried about me. She took me out of class today when I forgot to go to lost & found the day before for my home-ec shit, and I went to find it that morning and it wasn't there... Turns out she had found it and she started rambling on about utter luniticisms of how I was pale and tired looking and scattered. I'm usually like that. Which made it all funny. I've been fighting with my parents a lot. And then there's the Junior Cert stress. Drama starts back up after school on Wednesdays. I can't wait... I love drama in our school.
Installing the new Messenger. Hope to god it's worth it. Internet is faaailing me. Hang on, no it isn't. Grr. I love cute little kitschy things. Like in Claires accessories, there's this adorable little Toad candy container. Toad from Super Mario, of course, not the ugly amphibian. I want to buy it but the effort of going all the way to Claires, I have no money, and am on brink of total lonerdom. *dramatic sigh*. Meap ftw. Phineas and Ferb. Comment.
I like the glowing topaz of the burning summer sunsets, the smell of intoxicating petrol, the colour of a gleaming pearl oyster and the taste of a steaming, sugary cup of strong ceylon tea. I like brain-melting romantic moments, kisses in the true sense and friends when they know exactly what to do. My name is Lucy, I'm young, and I like a lot of things.
