Dreams.

10.31 am, Saturday

:)
I had an amazingly weird dream last night, after youth club when I was asleep, of course. I'm not gonna say who it involved or anything, because even if they don't read this, I guess it would just be weird. It kind of told me something I should do... but something I can't do. And I woke up crying, too many damn reminders of last Summer, and how it all was, and how happy I was in my ignorance. I guess thing's change waaay too much, way too fast. No matter what other people think, I personally know I have had a pretty tough year in ways that those other people think wouldn't understand. Yes, people have died, people have had really hard times, but I still felt crap most of the five months. I'm crying now, I was just so used to the being around. It's not even all of 'em. Just the two that were with me for years. I do, I truly miss them, but considering things changed so much, I guess I gotta let it go. There are around 6,782,536,522 in the world, according to Wikipedia. I can't get 20 of 'em to see me in a nice light. It's odd, it's just that in this world, I'm a deer in headlights. By this world, I mean real life. But in my own little mind, I'm perfectly happy, I can pretend everything will work out, I can imagine I have the perfect boyfriend, amazing hair, perfect eyesight. I has gots my imaginary friends in my head. Well not really, but you get my drift, kaii?


On a happy clappy little note, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUMMMMMER.
No more school, no more Ms. Smith, no more bulllssshhhhiiiitt. And I have all the time I need to try and fix things in my life. 3 months of sun, shoes and spending. My kindaa season. I'mma make a list of things I have to do/try and do this summer. A to-do list, I guess, because I need to shake my ass and have aims and what not. Heregoesnothin'

1. Buy converse
2. Buy vans
3. Go a whole day without talking
4. Buy from a thrift store
5. Customise stuff from a thrift store
6. Make my own band tshirts
7. Buy fabric paint for tshirts
   
8. Send off for Brokencyde stickers
9. Get me a boyfriend
   
10. Make some new friends
11. Eat skittles instead of fattening stuff
12. Dance in the rain
13. Snog in the rain
14. Go to a Starbucks in town
    
15. Meh

Well dudes, I'mma go now,
I'll post lataaaahhs.
Lucy XOXO